Current mood:	*somber*
Entry tags:	like seriously...

Occasionally, I stumble across other people's Wordpresses, Blogspots, LJs or blogging platforms that are their choice of medium for expressing their thoughts and opinions. As I peruse entry after entry, I wind up reading philosophy, politics, world views and current social problems threaded with personal opinions, all recorded in impeccable English with grammar that seems to be the epitome of the textbooks I study.

And I think, shouldn't this be how I write? Should I be more learnt? Less childish? Stop using mindless emoticons and start being a 'proper' English student with views worth brooding over?

I worry then, toss and turn in bed, try to decipher what I should be contemplating in life - should I be more involved in the situation in Burma? Air my views on drug trafficking? Discuss the front-page headlines? I know enough to be sympathetic, but too little to be offered a penny for my thoughts. I meticulously identify grammatical errors in my exam papers (even comb the passage given for them), but freely abuse them in the LJ posts I make.

I probably should be less frivolous with my entries, right? After all, how am I ever going to achieve my ambitions if I continue along this way? If any one of those bloggers whose blogs I glanced through should ever stumble across this LJ, they'd likely roll their eyes and wonder at my shallowness - this depthless, light-hearted epistle of life which remains ignorant of the world at large.

But then...that wouldn't be me, would it?

What will I sacrifice of myself if I were to aim to achieve this? Probably my light-heartedness for one, my 'blurness' for another, my 'OMGSQUEE FANDOM!!!oneeleven!' part of my personality.


And the truth is I like the way I am now. I like the current 'me', flaws and all, want to hold on to that for as long as my age allows me to. True, I'm no longer a child who can claim innocence in all she does, but I still love God and I hold true to the principles I set for myself. Does being more in-tune with the world change that? Will being able to recite the various teachings of Socrates and Einstein prove me to be a better person?

Well alright, fine, yes, it probably will. But it'll not be the 'me' I want but the 'me' I think I should be. And I think, who am I to have to conform to expectations that I myself am not keen on?

I'll sober up in a few years when adulthood calls for it. Maybe. Maybe not.

But I'll still be me, and for that, I'll be glad.

(In the meantime, I'll just apologize for the lack of maturity in this post and end this with an unrepentant '^_____^')